Calvin comes by a lot these days.

* * *

Two people are standing over me looking kind of distraught. It’s a man and a woman and the woman says, “Oh Mark,” gets kind of flustered and leaves. The woman looks familiar I think.

* * *

Calvin, that dog, only drinks tea now. I always gave him a good ribbing for that. Tea! Can you believe it?

* * *

Sometimes a man comes in my room and he says, “How are you eating?” And I say, “I’m not hungry, or, I think I just ate” (because man am I full). When I was young a had a ravenous appetite, but lately it feels as though I just can’t get hungry or something. The man says, “I’m going to send you some milk shakes,” and I say, “This is the worst experience of my life,” but I don’t know why I’ve just said this and he just says, “Well I’ll get you those shakes.” And I say, “Okay.”

* * *

A woman comes into my room and says drink this and puts a shake and a straw in my mouth. I don’t know why there is a piece of hay in my mouth, but I tongue it and push it to one side just like one of the farmers in the movies. The woman says, take a sip and I’m thinking, “How am I supposed to drink hay?” Then suddenly, and honestly I can’t believe it, but the hay turns to straw and suddenly I’m sucking down a frappe. Some kind of magic.

* * *

Man, Calvin and I used to get in so much trouble. One time we got totally snowed and ended up passing out on his sister’s lawn. When I woke up I had no idea where I was so I said, “Calvin? Where you at bud?” He was gone, must have woken up and gone to sleep inside the sneaky bastard. So I had to go to work real early, I worked for the water department back then, but I was in no state so I walked about town trying to get my bearings. And get this, honestly this was hysterical even though I felt kind of bad about it, I threw up on the front door of the library.

* * *

Calvin came in and said, “Mark, I’ve got your mornings meds: MVI, Lactinex, Lasix, Folic Acid, Thiamin.” I said, “Calvin, what the hell are you talking about?”

* * *

Two women and a man are outside my room and they’re speaking in letters: D-N-R, D-N-I, C-M-O and then the woman starts crying.

Calvin walks in and says he loves me. I say, “When did you go soft?” And then he starts crying too. Says he loves me again. Too much tea I think.

* * *

No Age – Genie (Buy.)

The Figgs @ Lizard Lounge

Me And Joan Collins, Sidewalk Driver, Birds Make Birds, Ladies And Gentlemen @ Abbey Lounge

Jake Armerding, The Starlings @ Club Passim

REHAB, HEAVY MOJO, DJ CHRIS CRISIS, MASTAMINDZ @ Harper’s Ferry

Allysen Callery, Jaggery, Teletextile, Bridget and the Squares @ Middle East upstairs

The Meatmen, Queers, Unnatural Axe, Nasties, Sleazies @ Middle East downstairs

Mad Man Films*, The Wandas, Age Rings, The Painted Lights @ Great Scott

Ichabod, Black Pyramid, Easter Bloodhounds, 12 Eyes @ O’Brien’s

Kon & Gucci Vuitton @ Middlesex

THREE DAY THRESHOLD, AUTUMN HOLLOW, TIN CAN TELE and more @ Church

DJs Flack, Yamin, Axel Foley & Pace. (Lighting by Todd Sargent) @ McGrath Highway (map)

*CD Release

Goat Hurt

Goat Hurt is from the out of print Dead Plan EP.

Via No Age

The report goes through all the different horrible things an affinity for a certain musical genre might mean, but is slyly wraps up the article with a quote from Michael Bowden, which says that musical tastes may mean nothing and that parents should probably just talk and listen to their child.

Of course, there’s no fun in that so here’s the chart that matches behavior to genre.

POP: Conformists, overly responsible, role-conscious, struggling with sexuality or peer acceptance.

HEAVY METAL: Higher levels of suicidal ideation, depression, drug use, self-harm, shoplifting, vandalism, unprotected sex.

DANCE: Higher levels of drug use regardless of socio-economic background.

JAZZ/RHYTHM & BLUES: Introverted misfits, loners.

RAP: Higher levels of theft, violence, anger, street gang membership, drug use and misogyny.

I guess as a teen I was a conformist mysogynist thief, who dabbled in higher levels of drug use while trying to confront my over-responsible tendencies without interfering with my gang membership. Of course I probably just joined the gang in an effort to counter balance my struggles with sexuality and my love for unprotected sex and to replace my need for self-harming with the need to harm others.

At least I wasn’t one of them fackin’ losahs who liked jazz.

Read the full report (and shake your head) here and then share what was wrong with you in high school.

And Better Still…

While you’re at it watch No Age’s new video for Keechie.

Via GvB

Fleet Foxes, The Duchess & The Duke, The Soft Drugs @ Middle East upstairs

No Age, High Places, Abe Vigoda, Palm @ Middle East downstairs

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, Ha Ha Tonka, The Motion Sick @ TT the Bear’s

BCMFest Celtic Music Monday @ Club Passim

AMERICAN STEEL, THE COLD BEAT, THE SERIOUS GENIUSES @ Harper’s Ferry

The Mae Shi, Tinsel Teeth, The Zookeepers, DJ Michael V. @ Great Scott

Twenty Weight, The Diggers, Mines of Moto @ O’Brien’s

yoyoyo 90s @ Middlesex (tuesday)

DJ BRADFORD JAMES @ Church

Life Partners, Visitations, Milo Jones @ The BCA Mill’s Gallery in the South End @ 539 Tremont St., 6pm

Fate Happens…

Sometimes it’s tough to deny a higher being, force, fate, or destiny. Sunday morning while gathering my belongings for work was one of those times. For your enjoyment, a photo reenactment.

Many thanks to Mr. Kelly, Vivian Darkbloom, and God for making this moment possible.

No Age is playing downstairs at the Middle East with High Places and Abe Vigoda five days before the Dark Knight hits theaters.

Marquee Moon is a great album. It was totally different when it was released in ‘77 and it’s still different today. Great albums seem to standout as different and special no matter how much time goes buy and how much music evolves. I guess that’s one sign of an albums greatness – that after decades it still sounds fresh. Buy.

No Age – Nouns (2008)

No Age – Eraser

Download audio file (noageeraser)

What more can I say that hasn’t already been said? Nouns is fantastic and very fun. Go buy it.

Nine Inch Nails – The Slip (2008)

Nine Inch Nails – Echoplex

Download audio file (ninechoplex)

The Slip has not blown me away. It’s more of NIN doing what NIN does, but by them releasing the album for free – and in high quality formats – they’ve built good favor with me. Thus, I’ve listened to the album multiple times and felt good about the fact that I have. Download.

They’ll be stopping at the Middle East on July 14th. Nothing on the Middle East site but, I assume they’ll be playing downstairs because the Fleet Foxes are scheduled to play the upstairs that night. Tough decision, but maybe Fleet Foxes will call in sick again and make everyone’s life easier.

No Age – Eraser

Download audio file (noageeraser)

No Age US (and Canada) Tour Dates:

06-28 Phoenix, AZ – Modified
06-29 El Paso, TX – The Blue Iguana
06-30 Dallas, TX – The Loft
07-01 Austin, TX – Emo’s
07-03 Atlanta, GA – Drunken Unicorn
07-08 Washington, DC – Rock and Roll Hotel
07-09 Baltimore, MD – Floristree
07-10 Philadelphia, PA – First Unitarian Church
07-11 New York, NY – Seaport Music Festival
07-13 Redmond, WA – Marymoor Park (Sub Pop 20th Anniversary Festival)
07-14 Cambridge, MA – Middle East
07-15 Montreal, Quebec – La Sala Rossa
07-16 Toronto, Ontario – Horseshoe Tavern
07-17 Pontiac, MI – Pike Room
07-19 Chicago, IL – Union Park (Pitchfork Music Festival)
07-21 Minneapolis, MN – Triple Rock
07-23 Seattle, WA – TBA (Free Yr Radio)
07-24 Vancouver, British Columbia – Richard’s on Richards
07-26 Portland, OR – Hawthorne
07-28 San Francisco, CA – Great American Music Hall

**Not all tour dates feature Abe Vigoda and High Places; check your local venue for lineup details.

No Age’s Nouns is in stores now through Sub Pop. Buy.

.

Via Pitchfork

……

I also picked up No Age’s Nouns LP on vinyl and it’s fantastic. To be fair, I downloaded the leaked version awhile back and have been listening to it almost non stop. I couldn’t resist myself and now that I own the LP I don’t feel bad about it. I encourage everyone out there to purchase a copy because it’s stunning.

Nouns will be released May 6th by Sub Pop (Buy) and the full gallery of the Neptune and Big Digits sets is after the jump.

RJD2 w/ Happy Chichester @ the Paradise

The Konks w/ Acrobrats @ Abbey Lounge

The Kieran Ridge Band w/ the Alpacas @ O’Brien’s

Humanwine w/ We Will Eat Rats to Survive @ Great Scott

The Caulfields w/ Autumn Above @ All Asia

DJ Paul Foley @ Good Life

Pretty Boy Jones w/ D-Wiz @ Middlesex Lounge

.

™No Age is streaming Nouns in its entirety on their myspace page linked above.

*This show is going to be very rad; see you’all there.

Free Yr Radio, Urban Outfitters, and Toyota are teaming up to promote independent radio with a free concert series. Each concert features different artists and supports a different radio station. Boston’s show will support WERS and will feature White Williams.

The full lineup is as follows:

05/21/2008 // WHITE WILLIAMS // WERS // BOSTON

06/14/2008 // !!! // OHIO.FM // COLUBMUS

07/30/2008 // YEASAYER // THE CURRENT // TWIN CITIES

07/25/2008 // MUDHONEY // NO AGE // KEXP // SEATTLE

More info and to get your e-ticket go to Free Yr Radio.

Via Pitchfork