For years I had haphazardly consumed hundreds of fortune cookies quickly glancing at and dismissing the fortunes or advice on the egg white paper. During that time I there was a spell when I believed that only fortunes that contained “24″ in the lucky numbers were of any relevance, but most of the time I thought they were all irrelevant. What real meaning could a small slip of paper inside a mediocre cookie have? My answer was, “none.”

That all changed while sitting at a table in Dokya, a Thai food place in Brookline. The divine gods of fortune cookies allowed me to crack their golden skies and remove a vision of purity and truth. It read :

A clear message had been sent from the lord of heavenly fortunes’ mouth straight to my eyes. Who was I to deny my destiny? I was certainly not about to spit in the face of the being that controls these sorts of things and reject the fortune’s claim. Although being universally admired as “the best” is quite a burden to bear I refused to shy away from my one true destiny.

After all, the cookie told me it was so.

Michael Zapruder cut an album titled Dragon Chinese Cocktail Horoscope. While Mr. Zapruder can never hope to be the best as agreed upon by everyone I’m sure a few will dig his sound.

I mean, I do, and everyone agrees I’m the best.

Michael Zapruder – Ads For Feelings

Download audio file (michaelzapruder_adsforfeelings)

And, of course…

(Yes, that’s an unaltered picture of the fortune.)