space
i was unsure up until i stepped into the cool teal glow exuded by the open corridor immediately before the elevator up to the ship. moments before this my course of action was already all but guaranteed, of course, but i was still unsure that i would be heading into the suck. the vacuum. that all consuming expanse. the new west. infinity. space.
why exactly that corridor reassured me i don’t know really. breezy mist gentle fell and cooled my suit, or at least, i assumed it did – not much of the outside environment is felt in a space suit, which is the point. an incontinent and unsteady stream of fluid struck the ground creating a meager stream that crossed my path. there was calm, a sense of preparedness in a journey that in some ways cannot be prepared for, for anything can happen on days such as these.
i thought of how my delicately cock-eyed girlfriend – well at least she would have to assume the role of girlfriend for the time being as it would be quite dreadful to be without one, or the idea of one, when embarking on such a perilous endeavor – charmed me by allowing my hands to be drawn over her pelvic bones which protruded outward from her slender frame. she was no Star Fox, but one cannot worry about the past when they’re about to be shot into forever.
then i dismissed both, or rather, integrated and absorbed those thoughts with other thoughts and memories that inevitably flood your head before an event such as this. my nervous system was overburdened; my nose dripped electricity. in that corridor those memories grafted into a shared purpose, euphoria replaced the oxygen in my suit. the coming act – a set of misfitting clothes that one pokes and prods in an attempt to get to sit just right suddenly fit perfectly snug in all areas. now, i was ready.
helmet: check.
protein pills: check.
ground control, this is minor tom, now god’s love is ready to be with me.
(space freaks, all of us.)
