Boston Music Awards
[Yesterday, I gave my take on the Boston Music Awards. Here are Christian's thoughts - Aaron]
I will never forget the day that I had coffee with the most renowned scholar of Western Esotericism to date. His name is Wouter Hanegraaff and he is currently a professor of History of Hermetic Philosophy and related currents at the University of Amsterdam. I was having a hard time following him in conversation and in the process of getting my coffee I ended up emptying two packets of salt into my cup before I realized it was not sugar. I made the decision that instead of looking like an absolute fool I would drink the abominable brew. As the conversation went on I gradually finished my cup, yearning to blarf the entire time. Since then I took a break from coffee, but now I drink it again. Stepping into the Roxy last night, I was taken right back to the first gulp of that dark, salty liquid.
To put it into context, there is an automotive tycoon named Ernie Boch Jr. who organized the annual charity event formerly known as the Boston Music Awards. They hold this event at the Roxy. When offered press credentials by the owner of this site, A.M., I accepted, ignorant of what it is I was to do or how I would go about not doing it. So together, A.M. and I struck out into what would become a theatre of the absurd. A.M. and I were greeted at the door by two men positioned as gargoyles, who’s job I assume was to confuse guests as they arrived at the location. Even now I am left to wonder what sort of psychology, what purpose, hiring these individuals served. I am less curious than haunted by this question. What followed was a blur of fat (phat?) cat self-aggrandizement, VIPS dressed in Hot Topic’s couture line and “Artists” who wore their lamented credentials like metals on a deposed African dictator. Fox News was there doing interviews for, what I assume to be, senior Middle East analyst positions; they had a good lead on a middle aged gentleman who I assume was in disguise, as he was wearing a crunched up cowboy hat and stressed denim jeans held up by what looked to be an extension chord made by Burberry. I was unable to keep score of who was winning as the award ceremony unfolded through a PowerPoint presentation where nobody was allowed onstage to get their award save Mr. Boch Jr. and two of the New Kids on the Block. I believe the two New Kids on the Block, identified to me as Donnie W. and Jordan K., were the recipients of some sort of charity donation carefully orchestrated to appear as the “National Act of the Year” award.
Amid all of the confusion I was able to secure an interview with two pre-school teachers who identified themselves as T.M. and A. While everyone around us was practicing to one day receive their charity awards from Mr. Boch Jr. these two individuals were in the trenches shaping the youth though long hours and an infinite array of parental concerns. They were amiable and we spoke for a while. I was reminded of a time long ago, when Old Dirty Bastard unexpectantly took to the stage interrupting Shawn Colvin and John Leventhal acceptance of the Song of the Year award and declared his music was for the children for it sought to teach the children. O.D.B. has left us and the young Nation of Gods and Earths still need stewards. T.M. and A. are the sugar, Mr. Boch Jr. is the salt.
