The Hatchshell Is Where Pop Bands Go To Die, Or, Why Cracker Is Spineless

I swung down to Earthfest this weekend (pictures after the jump), scooped up as much organic, deceptively not-so-healthy health food, and drinks primarily of the energy variety (read: caffeinated). Between finding a place to lock up my bike, scooping up said free products, gazing at the staggering amount of waste generated by Earthfest, and weaving between adjacent hackey sack circles I caught Cracker’s set.

Truth be told, I was more interested in checking out and documenting the zombie parade that had ended up at the event, but I still listened to the Cracker set. The audio was surprisingly good and although the Hatchshell is the most impersonal venue a band can play it was encouraging to see so many people coming out to enjoy music. Cracker played all their hits…Low. Well, I guess they really only had one hit but they played all the songs they assumed would be hits after Low broke.

Unfortunately, their age was apparent and an aging rock star is often a sad sight. Flavor savor and unstylish facial hair, shirts that are a bit too tight to accommodate their slightly inflated midsections, some rings, new Chuck Taylor’s, and a bravado that may not be warranted any longer are the norm. Then again, I guess they’ve never really had an eye for style…

Then something incredibly lame happened. Jonathan Perry of The Boston Globe reports,

midway through Cracker’s spirited 45-minute set, a state trooper had clambered on stage and ordered the band to cut short its song, “Teen Angst (What the World Needs Now),” due to the rambunctiousness of the crowd up front. “It’s all fun until somebody breaks a hip,” quipped Cracker frontman David Lowery. “Seriously, thanks for being a little bit more mellow.” (As of Saturday night, there had been no reports of arrests or injuries related to the free concert, according to Massachusetts State Police.)

Thanks for being more mellow? Really? Really? Do I want a rock band that lives primarily in upbeat guitar rock tell me to relax, or mellow out, or just calm down? Of course not. Now, of course they were put in a bad spot because the troopers told them that they would shut down the show if people did not chill out, but that is no excuse.

The event was sparked by about four troopers dragging out one (!) kid from the “mosh pit.” One person getting a little wild by Trooper standards necessitated the entire concert being brought to a quick stop. I’ve never been so grateful for the club bouncers in my life. Even though bouncers often over react at least their mission is to keep the show going whereas the Troopers’ mission is to perpetuate their life sadness on everyone else.

Of course this poses the question…which is more out of place, a rock band telling and thanking its audience for mellowing out, or State Troopers being used as bouncers?

Both are terrible. I understand that Cracker seems to be relegated to free outdoor concerts at this point, but never go see them. It’s not worth it; they’re spineless. And 92.9, hire your own crowd security in the future.

Earthfest pictures after the jump.

Related posts:

1. Climb in Yr Car And Head Down To Earthfest

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